The Hazards of Blogging and Some People's Idea of Fun...Sigh

Well...tonight I was snorkling around, minding my own business, and hunting for free, public domain clipart. I actually wanted a free picture of a ? (question mark). This should take seconds I thought...wrong. Well I surfed around doing various searches...I wasn't going to be choosy, any question mark would have been fine as long as it was free. I freely admit I am a free-clipart junkie and I hate having to whore my site by placing links all over in return for some free question mark gif. If I am going to whore my site it will be for profit. ;)

I do, however, always appreciate those kind people (however mentally disturbed) who give freely of their time to locate public domain stuff for me to use to pimp out my posts. (I am all for delegating.;) I finally stumbled upon a web page that looked promising. I read and read ...hunting for the IMAGES. I want my clip art quick and dirty. A slam-bam, thank you ma'am sort of thing. I leave feeling cheap and dirty, but hey I got my clip art...that's the important thing.

Well....I finally realize that this site actually didn't have any actual images. It was just a plan that someday images would somehow magically find their way to the land of make believe...maybe from Oz...who knows.

Here is an excerpt:

"Some other fun projects that are on the road map are to develop web spiders to crawl the web for old public domain clip art and automatically input this into the project. Several commercial distributions of clip art like the Nova Development Art Explosion 300,000 have built their products on public domain bitmap and vector graphics. This type of original public domain imagery needs to be sought out, converted to SVG, enriched with meta-data, and placed into the collection for use by all."

This is someones idea of FUN???...sigh. Developing Spiders that ninja public-domain clip, what a HOOT. I am sure you have to be over 21 to participate in such mind numbing enjoyment. I left feeling very-certain that the author might need to spend some quality time on the toilet...I also felt dirty but I didn't get my clipart...sigh.

--The Clever Cynic,


What is This Doing on the Internet?...Sigh

Most of you by now are probably wanting to throw me off the poop deck...sigh. That is one of the hazards of bringing you stuff you won't see anywhere else. Consider it a job hazard if you will...but I feel it is my duty to bring you the real poop and tonight is no exception. You will NOT believe this: featured site:

Haven't you people learned by now not to click on stuff I recommend? Yup, it is true...a website devoted entirely to poop...sigh. Be sure to look around gets worse. You can order poop merchandise too...yippee. Wonder what motivates someone to do a poop website? Hm mm...somethings we are just better off NOT knowing. I am not saying that the author doesn't have every right to talk about poop if he fact, I would defend to the death his right to do so; however, the fact that people read it is just plain scary....sigh.

--The Clever Cynic,

A Test for Seasickness

Speaking of seasickness, I have designed a test for you so you can see if you are cut out for the high seas. Go HERE and click on the "Kid's Stuff" link on the left. Stare at the screen for 10 seconds. If you don't pull over your trashcan and immediately puke your guts out, climb aboard.
Okay, Okay, so you hate me now for making you look at that...get over it.

--The Clever Cynic,


Reality Television--Pirate Master, Episode 1

I enjoyed tonight's debut of Pirate Master on CBS. The ambiance aboard the ship was actually convincing without seeming like an overdone-theme park, so kudos to the set designers.

John, the "scientist/exotic dancer" (what a combination) was the first to be sent home, despite a well-delivered attempt to incite mutiny. My guess is that he was the biggest threat and the others feel that they have plenty of time to deal with the newly-emerged captain, Joe Don...who came off as a royal-asshat and power-hungry little pimp. I just hope the others don't wait too long to cut Joe Don adrift...I am not sure how much of his swaggering about I can tolerate before I get seasick. I had a slight bout of seasickness already when Joy proved to be quite the drama queen...sigh.

All-in-All an interesting reality show.

--The Clever Cynic,


This is what happens when you mix whisky and video

Reality Television---Anthony Wins Shear Genius

Anthony won the final round of Shear Genius. Congratulations, Anthony. I think all three finalists were fact, I thought popular favorite, Ben, would win...I would actually let him style my hair. I thought he had some amazing styles throughout the competition and he has an edgier style that I prefer...none-the-less, Anthony was always polished and competent.

Sadly, Jaclyn Smith did NOT get a makeover...she is still sporting that '80s look...sigh.

I have to say that legend, Vidal Sassoon, stole the show tonight...his positive outlook and bright attitude made the others look like stale jello pudding.

--The Clever Cynic

Bowling Game for Your Mindless Entertainment

We go to great lengths to bring you the finest in mindless entertainment and tonight is no exception. The Table Tennis Game was a huge hit so here is another game for you to wile away the time. Click on the picture to be whisked away to the bowling alley.

The Internet is For Porn - Pirates of the Caribbean

A pirate video to get you in the mood for pirate stuff.

Best of the Internet: POGO for Classic Arcade Games and Freebie Casino

One of the best sites on the Internet is actually also one of the most-entertaining. I am talking about Pogo. It has a HUGE assortment of fun games and US and Canadian residents can actually win cash prizes. It is a blast to play and the freebie casino is a fun place to sharpen your skills before you go to lose your real money in real casinos.;) All you have to do is create an account and you are able to play a ton of free you may want to check it out if you have never heard of it.

--The Clever Cynic,

Something RARE Happens Tomorrow--Once in a Blue Moon

Tomorrow something rare happens. Don't get all moist and excited...I am NOT going to say something nice to you tomorrow. (that almost never happens) I am talking about a blue moon. A blue moon isn't really a different-colored moon. It actually means that a second full moon occured within a month. This isn't all THAT rare. It happens on average about every 2 1/2 years.

Pirate Master to Debut Tomorrow on CBS

Pirate Master, the new reality television show from CBS, is set to debut, Thursday, May 31st at 8PM ET/PT...for more information click here. Sixteen modern-day pirates embark on a backstabbing adventure of a lifetime. This sounds like MY KIND of entertainment...especially the backstabbing.;)
If you really want to be in fine form (meaning you are pretty much a total role-playing GEEK) for the debut, you can get your pirate name here by doing a short, but somewhat cheesy and entertaining, quiz.

Now That The Boy Shot the Wild Boar, Everyone Wants in the Act

Now everyone is joining the hunt...sigh.
--The Clever Cynic

This Man is not Drunk or Depressed

This man does not have a problem with depression or alcohol. He has a DISORDER. ;)

In Case You Missed It: Britney Spears Makes Webstatement

In case you missed it, Britney Spears published a web message...oh boy.

In this revealing missive, Britney says that, "Till this day I don't think that it was alcohol or depression," the 25-year-old pop star writes. "I was like a bad kid running around with ADD (attention deficit disorder)." I am glad to learn that it wasn't all that booze, that it is a "learning disorder"...WHEW. What a relief.

The article added that Ms. Spears was seen out and about with Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan. She didn't say what disorder those two have, but I am sure it isn't alcohol related. ;)

--The Clever Cynic,


10-Year-Old Boy Slays Giant Wooly Mammoth With Pellet Gun

Hey, I can spot a trend when I see one. ;)

People are going Hog Wild About the Supposedly 1051 Pound Wild Hog Shot by a Boy With a Pistol

Supposedly, an 11 year-old boy shot a record-breaking wild hog, weighing in at 1051 pounds, using a Smith and can see the photo and details here. There has already been a lot of scepticism. (Imagine that..I think even the wild hog is sceptical ;))

The Indianapolis 500...A True Spectacle

Dario Franchitti won the Indy 500...congrats, I guess. They call the Indy 500 "The Greatest Spectacle in Racing." I have to agree with this where on earth will you see more people make a spectacle of themselves...well, maybe with the exception of spring break.;) If you have ever been to the infield on race day I am sure you will concur.
I have to wonder at the wisdom of such an event. A lot of fans travel a great distance to see the drivers go NOWHERE. They sit for several hours to see the drivers compete to see who can go in a circle and wind up where they started the fastest. It is estimated that about 400,000 people attend the see 33 cars driven to death for no reason. If each person uses 10 gallons of gas to get to the track...(probably a conservative estimate) that would be 4,000,000 gallons of fuel burned (producing tons of pollution)...not counting the fuel spent to run the cars in the race and the motors and parts that are totally worn out during the race (not to mention all the resources used up during the month preceding the race) In a nation at war over oil (and that is really what the war is all about) I wonder if the few hours of entertainment are worth the price. Global warming is becoming a noticable issue. Someday I wonder if our future generations will look back upon such waste and cry.

This is the Most Sexist Nonsense Ever

<--since this guy is male apparently he can't buy a box of cereal?
I was reading an article entitled, "Help! Grocery store still overwhelming to men" (sic... yeah they really don't know how to capitalize...sigh) I f they had written this article about women...say at the hardware store, all hell would break loose. Why do men put up with this sexist crap?

I can't imagine that a grocery store is that hard to use for the average guy. I go to the store all the time...I manage to find what I need. They have HUGE signs over every show you where to go. Is the navigation system that hard to master? I am guessing they are referring to the "whipped" types who normally are left home by the wife and suddenly she gets a bug somewhere to send the poor sot to the store (probably for tampons wonder he can't find them);).

This part of the article is CLASSIC:

"One guy I thought was going to have a nervous breakdown in the cereal aisle,"
Putnam said, adding that this man, in his early 30s, worked the night shift as a
police officer in a dicey part of town and was otherwise used to stressful
situations. " (the guy can dodge bullets and polices gangs, yet he can't pick out a box of Cheerios?)

So what is their wonderful solution to this problem?:
"One example of a tool to help with efficiency is the Shopping Buddy, a wireless computer on shopping carts at Ahold NV's Stop & Shop stores in the Northeast that alerts shoppers to certain items they might want, among other features, using information from shopper loyalty cards, consultants said."
Oh I can just imagine the shopping buddy in action. ATTENTION...ATTENTION MALE FOOL...PIZZA AND BEER ON ISLE FIVE. Seriously, it is about time men stopped putting up with such patronizing nonsense.

One Thing Highly Effective People Do Not Do...

I had a boss one time...(that was my first mistake...;) ) She had to be the most-inept person on this planet...but that didnt' actually hurt anything it made me very powerful. ;) Well, one day I want in her office and she was reclining...pretty much like the woman in the graphic. Well, except the woman in the graphic probably did some work in the past decade.
On her desk was a book...."The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," by Stephen R. Covey. Now I am not saying that this isn't a fine fact it is quite fact, it wouldn't hurt to read it.
Being the type who notices things, I noticed the book on her desk and said, "no highly-effective person on earth has that book on their desk...the minute someone sees it they think you are inept and need help, which hardly makes you more effective." (You can see how much power I had siphoned at this point due to her ineptness that I got away with saying stuff like that). So I guess my point is:...self-help books are great, but to be read in private. And also don't be weak or seen as weak because that makes you a target for people to steal your power.;)

The Real Reason for the War In Iraq

I read today in an article on MSN that gas wasn't expensive enough yet and I have read it before in previous articles. The experts claim that if gas were four dollars a gallon...perhaps raised to that level by additional taxation on top of inflated war prices...that it would finally be at a price level that would allow Americans to survive on thier own oil production, without relying on the Middle East for oil. (I would cite the URL for the article but it is just plain ridiculous...sigh)

The fact is that it would force poor Americans to do without gasoline while for the rich the cost of the gas for their Mercedes would be fairly immaterial. The sad fact is that Americans won't learn unless they are hit in the pocketbooks. Apparently enough people simply don't care that periodically we have to fight wars to stabilize governments that we are dependant upon for oil. I guess they figure...what are a few lives lost as long as I get to drive my Hummer? Besides without wars there wouldn't have BEEN a Hummer...right? Excellent reasoning...sigh.

--The Clever Cynic,

Serenity Now bombs a World of Warcraft funeral

This video is from You Tube. It contains some profanity and imaginary violence. If you are under 18 or a prude, don't view it. Thanks

Is the World Starting to Blend Fantasy With Reality?

I am starting a new series that looks at the trend to blend fantasy with reality. Recently, I read that someone bombed a funeral in Iraq. I think this was one of the most horrible crimes that someone can commit. I was deeply saddened by the news. A funeral is a moment where people gather to pay their last respects to the departed and I think any violation of this sacred rite is not to be forgiven.

People gather at a funeral to recognize that the person lived, shared their lives and recognize that the person's life had meaning for is a sacred time.

I recalled a video that I had seen about a group on a PVP server that bombed a funeral. Let me give some background. A PVP server is a server in a MMORPG (massive multiplayer online role-playing game) where the participants agree to be able to fight one another. By playing on that server they accept certain rules, certain standards of play. The play is harsh...often cruel, but those who choose to play there know that when they sign on.

The video in the above post is from You Tube. In the video a guild (group of players who band together for fellowship in the game) set out to destroy the participants attending an in-game funeral for someone, who had played on that server, who had died in real life.

The video contains imaginary characters, invoking imaginary violence, using imaginary weapons to do imaginary destruction and uses profanity. With that in mind, you can decide for yourself if you want to view it. It contains profanity and imaginary violence.

The funeral in question was held by a girl's father after she passed away in real life. As you watch bear in mind that the girl and her family chose to participate on a PVP server where people play so they can attack OTHER PLAYERS. Obviously the girl and her family enjoyed inflicting violence against other imaginary foes piloted by other human participants or they would not have been there.

The video raises a host of questions in my mind. Is it bizarre to hold a funeral in a game? Is there a moral issue with the assault upon the funeral in an imaginary setting? I am torn about this. I think the video editing is superb. This video has had nearly a million views. If you hold it totally apart from reality it can be very funny to watch. The idea of holding a funeral in an imaginary setting is a bit bizarre. The group that raided the funeral was within their right as players on the evil side on a PVP server to do so. The question is can you totally separate fantasy and reality?

--The Clever Cynic,

The Clever Cynic: What if Britney Spears and Homer Simpson Got Together

<---Britney Simpson

Then of course I had to wonder about Britney Spears...sigh.

--The Clever Cynic,


Is the World Starting to Blend Fantasy With Reality? Subtitle: Paris Simpson

<----Paris Simpson

I got to thinking after I learned that the Sims computer game series was going to be made into a movie. (Well as soon as I wiped the barf off my chin)

I got to thinking...what would the offspring look like if Paris Hilton had a baby with Homer Simpson.

Chrysler Looks to Russia to Sell Cars

One of the headlines today is that Chrysler is looking to sell cars in Russia...they made this sound like a novel idea. I realize that Russia is pretty hard to miss if you look at the I applaud their marketing prowess. I guess that they are hoping that Russians, now that they finally have some cash, haven't heard what a pile of crap American cars are and are in the market for a clunky gas guzzler now that gas is four dollars a gallon. I think they may have something here...Russia is probably the only nation on earth where American cars will look good in comparison to their own.
Did the car companies learn from the last time that gas prices SOARED and they were stuck with a huge inventory of clumsy gas guzzlers? ....


Just Thinking 2--More Clowns

<---I do not even WANT TO KNOW what this clown is thinking.
--The Clever Cynic

Just Thinking and Clowns

<----Something tells me that I do NOT want to be around when that clown decides to use that magic wand.
--The Clever Cynic

Ok Forget That Last Post...I Just THOUGHT I Knew How Distorted Our Society Had Become

Ok, OK.......I stand corrected. FORGET THAT LAST POST. I just THOUGHT that I had finally figured out how distorted our culture has become. Then, I learned that The Sims (yes from the games by that name) will become a MOVIE....sigh. There you can't get more distorted than THAT. I can just imagine the I stand corrected.

Just What We Need...a Fight Club for Geeks and...What You Can't Learn in School

I was over looking through news at MSN and saw a headline about a fight club for geeks. (if you want to check out the actual article and view the video...knock yourself out ...pardon the pun... but don't say I didn't warn you, it contains violence and a bunch of geeks fighting...neither is a pretty sight IMO:,DC49683F-E26A-49C6-93B7-7F31892274D0&amp;amp;amp;t=c150&f=06/64&p=hotvideo_m_edpicks&fg=&GT1=9951) (yeah, I know that is an asinine URL but hey I didn't create it...I just posted it.)
Ok, so I go and check out the video against my better judgment...sigh. Well...that was the first mistake. The second mistake was sitting though the ad that they made me watch FIRST...sigh. It features some pukey kid informing his mom that he needs 60 cupcakes for, I assume, school the next day. First of this point any SANE parent would be already writing the note to excuse the child's absence from school the next day. ;) Further, the child would learn a far more valuable lesson than he ever would by actually GOING to school that day with a bunch of stale cupcakes in a bag:..."If someone ropes you into some monumental task that you have to pass on to your family.......BLOW IT OFF." (They just can't teach valuable life lessons like that in a setting of formal education) ;). Some things you just have to learn AT HOME. (don't get me started on homeschooling though...I am saving that rant for another post.);) To take it one step further...go ahead and bake the cupcakes and teach the kid to sell them on E-bay.;)
Well....I waded through the ad (obviously with my mind churning) and made it to the first feature. The Geek Fighting Club. Immediately, my mind starts crying FOUL. First of all... no real geek makes it that far along in life without getting beat up so much that they learn some fighting skills....these guys had NONE. From there, it just went from bad to worse. So to save you the agony of actually watching this steaming pile...geeks can not fight. Even worse the commenter actually APOLOGIZED for calling these self-proclaimed geeks GEEKS...sigh. In a nutshell it just shows how distorted our society has become.

About Chasing Money With Sunken Treasure

I noticed tonight (I have this bad habit of noticing stuff...sigh) that one of the most searched terms was sunken treasure. I assume this is in the wake of the greatest treasure find of all time. ($500,000,000 or so depending upon the price of gold) According to this article..."A real life sunken treasure is discovered in the Atlantic Ocean, something you usually only see in movies like Pirates of the Caribbean." I guess that has everyone off hunting for treasure.
Actually, there are worse things you can do I suppose. I am positive that there are many more treasures to be if you are setting off to search...good luck. Actually if I had been thinking, I would have hinted some treasure could be found at a spot where I want to plant a tree........sigh.....guess it is too late for one would believe it now.

The Value of YOUR Money--The True Cost of Inflation

Everyone likes money. It buys us what we need to live, grants us those little luxuries that make life more enjoyable and provides a measure of security against times of strive.
Sadly, with each passing day, our money buys less and less. Two articles caught my eye tonight as I scanned the news. The first was about the falling purchasing power of the US dollar for overseas travel: ( It is not surprising that our currency is flagging against the other major currencies. Our staggering debt and huge trade and budget deficits combined with a lackluster economy are a sure ticket for disaster. We tend not to notice that prices creep up slowly as we go about our day-to-day lives...there is always inflation and we are used to rising prices. The staggering reality comes when we have an opportunity to see how our currency really stacks up in the rest of the world.
The second article, "Men in their 30s lag behind fathers in pay" (although incorrectly capitalized) is also an eye-opener. Men of this generation in real terms earn LESS than their fathers a generation ago. America is slipping in more ways than one.
CEOs and others at the top earn salaries way beyond the scope of their productivity. Show me ANYONE that is so talented that they are worth more than $1,000,000 per year. (someone makeing $1,000,000 per year gets $500 per HOUR...I would like to see them produce $500 worth of goods or services every hour...that would take SOME SKILL) When you have such a huge divergence in salaries and a declining economic growth rate...someone has to pay.
Our nation also spends well beyond its means. This can't continue indefinitely. Gains in productivity through technology and improved mechanization can't continue indefinitely. The tractor was better than the horse....but a better tractor is only marginally better than the previous tractor. We can't continue to pile up debt that we assume will be paid by robust productivity and surging economic growth in what has become a global marketplace.

On the War in Iraq...Again

I read an article in Yahoo news tonight about the failure of the supply line for our troops. According to the article, "Of more than 100 requests from deployed Marine units between February 2006 and February 2007, less than 10 percent have been fulfilled, the document says. It blamed the bureaucracy and a "riskaverse" approach by acquisition officials." (I would cite the address but their URL is ridiculous...but you can Google it if you like).


This is a nation that can supply porn to 200,000 houses a day (and probably FAR more than that) and can't manage to get supplies and equipment to our troops in COMBAT? I can order a pizza delivery and expect more efficiency than our troops are getting in the field. This is WAR...LIFE and DEATH... come on America get with it.

--The Clever Cynic,


On Funding the War in Iraq

Congress passed a bill today to fund the war in Iraq. I am all for paying our soldiers...(in fact I would like to thank all of the men and women who fight to keep our country free....THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart) but it is time to BRING THEM HOME and pay them HERE. How many American lives can be lost (even one life lost is TOO MUCH...IMO). How much money can we spend to establish a government in a country that ATTACKED US and hated us?...(and probably still does)

According to The Brookings Institution, in 2003, "Over the past several months, news organizations and experts have regularly cited Department of Energy (DOE) Energy Information Administration (EIA) figures claiming that the territory of Iraq contains over 112 billion barrels (bbl) of proven reserves—oil that has been definitively discovered and is expected to be economically producible. In addition, since Iraq is the least explored of the oil-rich countries, there have been numerous claims of huge undiscovered reserves there as well—oil thought to exist, and expected to become economically recoverable—to the tune of hundreds of billions of barrels." (to review the entire article...

It sounds to me like this is not a country that we need to spend 125 BILLION to secure their government. We asked other nations to forgive loans made to their old government. Obviously, this country holds a huge wealth in natural resources. At the very least the money we spend there, establishing a sound government, should be considered a LOAN to be repaid in full. The United States has a HUGE DEFICIT.....and someday we are going to have to pay. Why sell OUR children's future to help one of the most resource-rich nations on earth?

We still have people in areas ravaged by hurricane Katrina without homes. The area of New Orleans is a WASTELAND. People die from lack of healthcare, lack of medication and poor nutrition in this country EVERYDAY. Many people live in POVERTY. Our infrastructure is CRUMBLING. The cost of repairing out nation's cities will be astronomical. Why are we spending BILLIONS to rebuild a country that attacked us? Sure I believe in compassion for the defeated but we have so many issues at home that literally beg for attention. I am not sure that such a huge sum is justified.

The Democrats managed to work a raise in minimum wage into the bill...I guess to help the poor pay for the huge price of gasoline and increased taxes to fund the war reconstruction. Don't get me wrong I am all in favor of a boost in the minimum is long overdue. I figure the government is assuming that our nation's children will be working for minimum wage now that they have bankrupted our economy and are planning ahead.

--The Clever Cynic,
E-mail: the_clever_cynic@yahoo.

The Table Tennis Game

I suspect the table tennis game, see earlier post, CHEATS.

--The Clever Cynic,

Mmorpg review: Star Wars Galaxies Online

I read an article today that told about Star Wars fans that were celebrating the 30th anniversary of the first Star Wars Movie by sitting in a theater for 17 hours to watch all 6 Star Wars Movies...that would be a bit long for me to sit in once place.

For those wanting an entertaining on-line game this summer, Star Wars Galaxies might be worth a fresh look. I played at launch and enjoyed the game, despite the lackluster reviews at the time. Now, a few years later, the game is still going strong. My sister decided to give the game a try recently and from what she describes, the game is now very polished, exciting to play and packed with content.

So if you are looking for an inexpensive way to pass the summer, Star Wars Galaxies might well be worth a second look.

--The Clever Cynic,

Lost Season Finale...Some Thoughts

Tonight was the season finale of LOST...Charlie got overconfident and didn't think to don the scuba gear...sigh...(just in case the station flooded.) There was a corpse lying nearby with a oxygen tank...I was thinking hmm...INSURANCE. Then, when the station began to flood, it seemed unnecessary for Charlie to close to hatch when the window was breached by the grenade... the implication was that it was an act of bravery to save Desmond...but Desmond had swum DOWN why not just swim back UP? Actually, once the place flooded, all the equipment would have shorted out and shutting down the signal would have become irrelevant.

Charlie's heroics, however, did glean a bit of information for the survivors...Naomi is not who she claims to she perhaps a plant as a part of a TRULY elaborate plot by the others? Is she, as Ben told Jack, a part of a group bent on annihilation of all the island's inhabitants? (Good luck to them when they try to kill off John Locke...he seems to just laugh at death.) Are they trying to prove that Juliet is trustworthy after all? The flash forward featuring Jack seems to imply that there is eventual it like Desmond's flashes where it may or may not come true? Is it truly a flash forward or the imaginings of Jack as he realizes Ben's wisdom that there may not be a life for Jack off the island?

I suppose all this and more will be answered next season...and I am sure more questions posed than answers revealed.;)

--The Clever Cynic,

Dancing With the Stars Winners

Congratulations to Apolo and Julianne on their win in this year's Dancing With the Stars. Congratulations also to Joey, Kym and the other contestants are all winners.

--The Clever Cynic,

Dancing With the Stars Finals

<-------Yes, I know, I know that picture is lame...but it is 2AM and I don't feel like finding something better.
Tonight's Dancing with the Stars ROCKED IT. Joey and Kym, I am TOTALLY DISAGREEING with the judges here, were absolutely the best performance of the night with the Cha Cha starting out with Kym acting like a puppet. I have to admit I envy Joey being Kym's puppet master. Kym is one of the hottest women on the planet. ;)
I was a bit disappointed though with Apolo and Julianne tonight. :( I had them picked as a clear favorite to win...but following the puppet number by Joey and Kim everything else in the show seemed to fall flat.) I do also kind of wonder why Apolo's parents can't SPELL. The search engine even tried to correct me...sigh. Maybe his parents named him before spellcheck was invented.

Is it Just Me? or...

Is it just me or does it look to anyone else like this guy is trying to sail a boat in his toilet?

The Bachelor Season Finale

Well...The Bachelor concluded tonight. The bachelor found true luv....isn't life grand sometimes? Tessa got the ring and Bevin got the shaft...for Bevin life wasn't so grand.

On Art

The sad part about being a fine artist is that the real money is made after you are gone and can't enjoy it. ;)

--The Clever Cynic,

Free Game for You to Play--Table Tennis

The Clever Cynic spares no expense in order to bring you the finest in quality entertainment. Today's feature .... Table Tennis (just click on the picture to be wisked away to the game). Go knock yourself out. Good luck though....I got clobbered. If you manage to beat it post and claim your bragging rights. ;)
--The Clever Cynic (bringing you mindless things to do, so you don't have to go out and actually look for them)

The Latest Mail Scam

I received this in the mail on my Yahoo account:

"Do not reply to this message: Dear Customer,Our robot has fixed an abnormal activity from your IP address on sending e-mails.Probably it is connected with the last epidemic of a worm which does not have patches at the moment.We recommend you to install a firewall module and it will stop e-mail sending. Otherwise your account will be blocked until you do not eliminate malfunction. Customer support center robot."

The e-mail included some file they wanted me to install...LOL (undoubtedly the actual virus) ;) This scam would have been more convincing had it not been written in broken English.

--The Clever Cynic,


Sometimes I Get Sick of Telephones

Have you ever been in a store and waited a long time in line, then FINALLY your turn comes and the phone rings? The clerk answers it and then TOTALLY IGNORES you. If you give them a look about it, they give you this look back like..."can't you see I am on a PHONE CALL?" (Like a phone call is the most sacred of all events and never to be interrupted or delayed for any reason.) Where did everyone get the idea that a phone call is more important than the guy who actually DROVE TO THE STORE and bought something? Did the caller WAIT IN LINE?....umm no, is the caller more important than I am?...very unlikely. ;)

The Clever Cynic: Have You Ever Noticed That Stars are Mostly Makeup?

Have you ever noticed that celebrities are mostly makeup? I saw a photo of Britney Spears the other day without her makeup and it was just plain scary.

--The Clever Cynic,


My next-door neighbor finally moved out...I was not sorry to see him go. He left his yard in a total mess and pretty much crapped on the neighborhood as he left. That didn't surprise me because he pretty much did that all they way through life...well as long as I knew him anyway.
It occured to me that how you leave is often as important as how you arrive and how you behave while you are there. First impressions are important, but last impressions are perhaps the most memorable.
It also reminded me about my earlier post on proximity and friendship...although this guy was no friend of mine. Now that he is gone and the house if vacant he no longer seems to exist in the universe...not my universe anyway.
I guess my point is, people come and go in our lives. If someone bothers you just let it go...their opinion means naught...they are only passing through.

The Clever Cynic...Earthshaking News About the Launch of a REVOLUTIONARY new site

No this isn't a quote...sorry to disappoint you. Well, not really, I love being annoying and disappointing...but the point of this post is that I launched another site. (As if I didn't have enough forums already to be a pain in the butt.) Today is the first day of the new will feature a daily famous quote tied to earth shattering current events (like some celebrity gets caught with their pants down), dates in history and timely news like when I decide to mow my yard. So if you haven't already had enough...scamper on over and bookmark it for posterity.

--The Clever Cynic (now quoting for those too lazy to look up quotes)


The Clever Cynic: Unravels the Mysteries of the Universe and Particularly: How to Make Money Scams

This is a guy telling others on the Internet how to make money. Well, more precisely how HE makes money. He makes money by telling YOU how to make money and making you THINK you will actually MAKE money. See how the arrow of the big money is pointing toward HIM? That is because HE is the one making the money.

The way it works is after a while it gets so confusing about who actually makes the money everyone forgets who is REALLY making the money--but he makes MORE money. But hey, as long as someone made money it is just fine...........right?

--The Clever Cynic (saving you money so you can buy something important like a hand-held blender)

The Clever Cynic: How You Can Save TONS of Money

This is exactly the expression I had when I learned that some fools pay 25 dollars for a pack of razor blade refills. Give me a BREAK.

Go buy a pack of 3 Bic Deuce razors for a DOLLAR. That is right...ONE DOLLAR and they are disposable. You don't have to mess with changing the blade, they give a shave that is amazingly smooth and they are precise. Yeah I know, Bic just got like $100,000 worth of free advertising...I don't care. I guess if they feel really guilty about it they can send me a check. BUT, the important thing is you can save your money now for important stuff like beer. Besides some of those razors are a is like shaving with some huge plank with teeth. Sure you can pivot the head on some of them to do your sideburns but WHY BOTHER? The head on some of those razors is so huge it kind of skates over a lot of spots and leaves them rougher than a normal razor.

--The Clever Cynic...(saving you money, so you can throw it away on something else)


The Clever Cynic: Speaking of Scofflaws and hot girls, sexy girls and more girls

American bloggers are at a huge disadvantage these days. Bloggers living in other countries can just ninja copyrighted materials right off our Internet and use them to blog...and there isn't much American celebrities can do about it.
Can you imagine how hard it is to find and sue some guy living and blogging in a hut in Ghana? That makes it really hard to compete. More andmore celebrities are suing bloggers here who heist their images from copywrited sites, so the domestic blogger has a tough time comepeting in the hot girls arena. So this is probably as hot a girl as you are likely to see here. ;)

The Clever Cynic: Paris Hilton Has a Once (hopefully) in a Lifetime Opportunity to Make a HUGE Fashion Statement

Fashionistas the world over keep a watchful eye on Paris Hilton to see just what she will be wearing next. For at least 23 days this summer they will KNOW what she is wearing...jail garb.

Paris Hilton has a once in a lifetime opportunity to take advantage of this, make a fashion statement AND save face-- should she decide to turn her stint in a "special needs (apparently Paris will be riding there on the short bus) housing unit" at the Century Regional Detention Center in suburban Lynwood. She will have one hour a day to leave her cell to shower, talk on the phone, do recreational activities and catch up on The Clever Cynic's latest posts.

If she is smart...or someone smart clues her in, this is a golden opportunity to launch what would clearly be the fashion hit of the summer.

She could, upon leaving jail, launch her own line of jail garb called something like, "scofflaws." Obviously, orange and stripes would be a central theme. This way, she can claim her time there was spent doing on-site research for her new line. She can then go strutting out of jail, head held high, wearing her new fashions and a sassy attitude amid probably the largest press gathering to take place this summer. I can guarantee you that if she did, every 13-16 year old girl in the world would be wearing something from the new line come fall.

The Clever Cynic,

The Clever Cynic: The King, the Mice and the Cheese

The minute I saw that time-lapse video of that cheese, I started thinking MOUSE. ;) I know, I know, it is really sick...but...soooo tempting. ;) I mean the cheese just SITS THERE...this needs ACTION.

The Clever Cynic,


The Clever Cynic: Goalsetting...Shoot for the MOON

I was thinking today about goals. Goals are a good a way, but all too often, they are limiting. In other words, most of the time we don't set lofty enough goals for ourselves. It is great to have a goal, like I want to be Vice President of the company...but why stop there? And why would you want to stop at being Vice President and not RUN the company? Why not OWN the company? Why not own most of North America? (oh wait, never mind, Donald Trump already did that.)

Sure it helps to have attainable goals but such goals limit us and once we achieve them we have to re-focus and raise the bar. Why not start off with the goal you really want? When I set out to create The Clever Cynic I stopped for a moment to think of a goal...I finally settled upon I will be happy when this website is the homepage of every computer in the world. Will I ever attain this goal....who knows? The odds are slim because there is probably some total freak out there that no matter what would refuse to set this as his homepage...just to be different. Is that wrong?.......of course;), but it doesn't deter me from having the goal...and I admire his courage to be different...but it doesn't diminish my goal in any way. Just like I have always felt like making up punctuation as I went along. It drove my English teachers NUTS....but they finally decided that it wasn't exactly WRONG is actually quite readable.;)

So think large and set any goal you want in life. The loftier it is the more of the minor goals (like being the most popular website in your country) will just breeze by along the way...but above all THINK BIG.

--The Clever Cynic,


The Clever Cynic: UAE Internet Cafe Crowd

Greetings Clever Readers in the UAE.;)

A good friend from the UAE told me that you like to hang out here while you are in the internet cafe and use this site to search Google, so I made the Google Search Box larger and easier to use. Thanks for hanging out here. Thanks, Morningirl for all the feedback.

--The Clever Cynic,


The Clever Cynic: Reality Television Shear Genius

Tyson and Tabitha (it has a nice ring to it doesn't it?) were voted off Shear Genius last night. The cute couple both dyed their hair black and were last seen atop a wedding cake at a Goth wedding for the asexual.

Questions to ponder...

1. Did anyone else notice that Tyson and Tabitha looked like a married couple? Married couples over time start to look and act like each other...same hair, same look, same hatred, same EGO, same dislike of sunlight. The ironic thing was it was a show about wedding hair. Had they done the bride, maid of honor and mother of the bride with the same style they (Tyson and Tabitha) would have at least matched.

2. Why is Jacklyn Smith HOSTING THIS SHOW??? I touched on this in an earlier post but this needs more EMPHASIS. It is like watching a Mom leading a Girl Scout meeting, although she is a far cry above Todd Oldham the host of Top Design. A GOOD choice for next season would be Kelly Wearstler. Don't know who she is? She was one of the judges on Top Design, is a top interior designer, is SMOKING HOT, always wears different wild hair, has this voice that can shatter glass but is somehow very sexy and is a former centerfold...need I say more? Wanna know more? Google her. You won't be sorry she is one of the most-beautiful women in the universe. ;)

--The Clever Cynic,


The Clever Cynic: The Best of the Internet--Yahoo Answers

<---This is my buddy Dozer. What does he have to do with Yahoo Answers? Well, read on and I will tell you.
The Clever Cynic brings you the best of the Internet and tonight is no exception. For those of you who don't know, Yahoo Answers is a service brought to you by Yahoo. It is a place where you can go to find information that you are not able to find on your own, that you are just too lazy to find on your own, or are smart enough to have other people find FOR YOU.;) That is how I came to discover Yahoo Answers. The key to success is to have other people do your work for you...they call it capitalism and I think it is the greatest invention of all time. I capitalize upon Yahoo Answers all the time. :)
Yahoo Answers is amazing really. You pose a has to be SHORT (I think a bit too short for much flexibility) but I overlook this tedious aspect because people are about to do my work for me. Then you post your question...this part is risky because you have no idea what answer you might get. The fascinating thing is that you can set up a mail alert to notify you when the people who hang there decide to favor you with some question answer lovin'. I never have to wait more than a couple of minutes. The answers vary and there is usually one really excellent answer. In fact, you get to choose the best answer to your question and they are awarded points that lead to perks like judging other peoples answers and being a little Yahoo Answers Demi-God. You will be amazed how many answers you get...from both the gifted and the insane.
This trick-little service is not without a price. That is where my buddy Dozer comes in.;) Generally there is an asshat or two that will post something really obnoxious...that is why I take Dozer with me when I go there. ;) As you can see from his expression he "wuvs" me and you can imagine how little he likes people who don't. ;) One guy actually posted that, "he kills people like me." See that big smile on Dozer's face? He ate the little douchebag that posted that comment.
So grab your big-assed dog and go check out Yahoo Answers. It is a real blast...if you ignore the idiots, asshats and losers (which these days seems to be most of the people who don't read this blog.) Most of the answer junkies who post there are really cool and I highly recommend it.

The Clever Cynic: Comments Update

I went back through all of your comments today and left a return comment on everyone's comment. The Clever Cynic is written for YOU and I do value each and every comment I if you left a comment be sure to browse back through the archive to see the response.

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