Paris Hilton Interview Larry King Live - Video from YouTube

The interview.

Inaccuracies in the Paris Hilton Interview

:O. Did they dub the laughter?

Templeton Weight Gain

Believe me you will have a belly FULL of rats before you leave here.;)

Ratatouille - rat-a-too-ee (Best Trailer For Ratatouille)

Did you see the rat's expression in the freeze frame? You will have that save expression when you finish today's posts...proceed at your own risk.

rat haha lol animated song

If you are tired of the rat race, you came to the wrong place. Tonight, I conducted an investigation into rodent intelligence and it turned even uglier than when I investigated "women who sing about their ovaries."...You have been warned.;)

An animated afternoon with rats !

Tonight we examine people's fascination with rats. It seems to be a world-wide epidemic.

12 turns in a wheel !!! © My poor hamster ... must not work for hamsters too. I had to edit this so skip on down and read backwards.

Dr. Pin Opening

Tonight I become Dr. Pin, Mad Scientist...for those following the "Hidden Clues Sequence" you guessed right...tonight's posts are rife with clues.;)

Dung Beetle

Yes it is just actually spent part of your evening watching a dung beetle walk backwards rolling a ball of poop. But hey, it probably boosted your brain-cell count.;)

Lost in a maze

And now...the "rats-eye" view.

Rat Race

This video was actually animated BY RATS...seriously, I don't make this stuff up.;)

Rit Rat Runk

Apparently the rats are now available as add one to your Christmas shopping list.

Scientists Discover that Exercise Boosts the Number of Brain Cells

In an article on Yahoo, they disclosed that scientists discovered that exercise boosts the number of brain cells in rats. (I would hate to have been the rat in that one). I was disappointed to learn that it was exercise that boosted brain cell production. I had hoped that they would say, "watching rock-music videos. :( However, I was glad to learn that there is hope for some of our celebrities.;)

--The Clever Cynic

Robot Chicken ET Spoof

Apparently ET is trying the exercise bit to boost some brain cells.

Paris Hilton Headed to Hawaii

In an article on E! I learned that Paris Hilton headed to Hawaii. My guess is that she wants some of the "jail buzz" to die down. She could have picked a worse place to escape...Hawaii is awesome.;)

Rush, Rush Paula Abdul

More from Paula to set the stage.;)

Paula Abdul - Opposites Attract--Don't Forget Her New Reality Show

Reality TV fans, Paula Abdul's new reality show premiers tonight on Bravo, so don't miss it.;)

Polar Bear On A Treadmill

Ever notice that EVERYONE starts off with GREAT INTENTIONS when they buy exercise equipment?;) Then, about a month later it sits in the basement...Finally, it winds up at a garage sale.;)

Citizens for a Better America -

HEY...I think he is making fun of PARIS HILTON.:O

Spice Girls - Victoria Posh in leather dress

More Spicyness.

Spice Girls - Say You'll Be There

More Spice Girls in case you want to refresh your memory.

Spice Girls - Wannabe

Latest news...there is going to be a spice girls reunion according to an article on Yahoo! News.

The Knack...And How To Get It Part 02

This is part may want to skip down to PART ONE first.;) Don't miss the series on Leonid the Magnificant and go back to "older posts" to see it all I have been posting a LOT so you may have to go back to catch up.;)

Sora's got...the Knack..u.u


The Knack...And How To Get It Part 01

Yes, I would say he has the KNACK.;) This is the first part of a series. I will post the rest from time to time.;)...until YOU have "the knack.";)

The Knack: My Sharona

Hmm...they seem to have the knack.

Dilbert - The Knack

Last night, I just didn't have "the knack" sigh...

Leonid the Magnificent is Back for Season Two on America's Got Talent

That's right...Leonid the Magnificent is back again this season on America's Got Talent. What the viewers probably don't know is that Leonid has come a LONG way since last season. If you check out the following two clips you can see that Leonid has added a bevy of GORGEOUS women to his act. If he can pull off an act like the two in the following two clips, he just may win this season.

I have had a lot of tech problems tonight on YouTube so I had to use another source and it had some thanks to those who bore with me through all the multiple clip posts.. I normally have "the knack" without the social ineptness normally associated with having "the knack".....but not tonight.

--The Clever Cynic

Leonid the Magnificent &Hollywood

Leonid the Magnificent Leopatra, Hollywood

Leonid the Magnificent &Leopatra

Leonid the Magnificent and his musical revue Leo-Leopatra

Leonid this man's crazy

And more Leonid.

Russian Freak in America

He is back for season 2. That's right, controversial star from season 1, Leonid the Magnificant advanced to round 2 last night on America's Got Talent.

Leonid the Magnificent and dance duet OT

I must say Leonid can pick out some FINE ladies for his act...he may just win this year he has come a LONG way.

The Amazing Leonid

In case you missed Leonid last season.

Sophie Monk interview

I must say she is stunning.;)

Sophie Monk playing flutes with her nose

Apparently Sophie will do about anything. But, at least this time it is flutes and not cheeseburgers.

Sophie Monk Swimming Pool Scene


Sophie Monk was Named as One of Australia's Sexiest Vegetarians...BUT IS SHE REALLY?

Sophie Monk was named as one of Australia's sexiest vegetarians, according to an article by the Herald Sun.



Polar Bear Golf

Now EVERYONE is trying to make the open...sigh.

Pre-teen Girl Qualifies for U.S. Open

Here is some news that should depress you. There is a 12 year-old girl that can probably clobber you at golf. According to an article on Yahoo! Sports, she scored well enough in qualifying rounds to make the tourney. Golfers I am happy I could make your day.;) I managed to get this exclusive drawing of her victory celebration....enjoy.;)

--The Clever Cynic

Sheriff Says That Paris Hilton's Life Was "Definately in Danger"

In an article over at TMZ, they quoted the sheriff in the Paris Hilton Jail Mess as saying that,"When people are not functioning normally, they're not eating normally, they don't have a sense balance in their lives, God only knows what could happen." Hmm...sounds to me like your normal-everyday CELEBRITY.;)

--The Clever Cynic

BODY ART by susan shup can be ANYTHING these days I guess.;)

Sheriff Cites "Suicide Fears" as the Reason for Paris Hilton's Brief Early Release

According to Reuters. The Sheriff, accused of favoritism in the Paris Hilton Jail Debacle, announced an hour after her release that he had, "feared for her life."

Apparently Paris, having to spend so much time with....well, Paris, found the company so annoying that they feared for her safety.

I was so tired of hearing about Paris in Jail that I felt like ending it all, but the sheriff didn't release me from anything...this seems unfair and smacks of preferential treatment.;) I cry FOUL.

I also heard on Access Hollywood, that she has been offered a $1,000,000 contract for one hour of her hourly wage for her jail time grows by the day. I can see why they might fear for her life...that kind of money would make me want to end it all ...that's for sure.

--The Clever Cynic

The GOP is Finally Wising up About the War in Iraq

In an article from the Washinton Post, Senators Lugar and Voinovich voiced dissatisfaction about the progress of the war. I guess the two politicians didn't have to stand in the corner that day and finally realized that we have been engaged in a war for 4 years that is not to our advantage.
It is about time that the government WOKE UP and realized that the United States can't engineer the governments in every nation in the world...they are too busy doing childish things for that.;) I am glad that they finally realize it. I suppose I will have to stand in the corner now with my mouth taped shut for having a "smart mouth."...sigh School was the only place I have ever been punished for being smart.;)

--The Clever Cynic

Immigration Bill Moves Forward in the Senate

In an article from Yahoo! News, the senate revived the immigration bill with a "test vote." The legislation immediately stalled out again when conservatives managed to delay the vote. "They did so by using Senate rules to insist that the entire 373-page package be read aloud, relenting only when Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., agreed to postpone action on the amendments.
I am not saying that the bill should not be delayed, but I do feel that many of the tactics used by our politicians are childish. What is next? A new Senate rule that if someone speaks out, they have to write their name 100 times?
I blame our system of education for ingraining some of these childish practices into the American way of thinking. Some of the "punishments" in school were trivial and childish. The teachers at times seemed more childish than the students. It is time Americans began to act a bit more mature and take politics beyond the kindergarten level. With a nation with so many problems I highly doubt we can afford many of the silly, outdated practices of the past. It is time our politicians acted more like adults.
--The Clever Cynic
--The Clever Cynic

Eva Longoria Sets Wedding Date

Eva Longoria is planning to get married 7/7/07. She hasn't planned the location yet. She has planned the groom though, basketball player, Tony Parker. Congrats, too Tony.;)

--The Clever Cynic

Paris Hilton is Officially a Free Woman

Paris Hilton was released last night and according to, she, "celebrated her first hours of liberty with a delivery of Mexican takeaway food, a pink-frosted cake and a hair appointment." I happened to go to Taco Bell today for lunch, and it was JAMMED. So, apparently everyone heard the news and wants Mexican...well, except you if this is news to you.;)

--The Clever Cynic

Backkom Oasis


Paris Hilton to be Freed from Jail 12:01 Pacific Time

In just two hours Paris Hilton is due to be released from jail. That's right, for now the countdown clock is finally GONE. Woohoo. It won't be back until Paris messes up again.;)

The Knife - Marble House

I must say, The Knife can make a video.

Harry Potter Order of the Phoenix Game Hogwarts

For the role-playing Harry Potter fans, there is going to be a new game soon, check it out.

Pivot Randosity


Lebanese Part II

I am a firm believer in cultural diversity.;)

Our Immigration Policy...

If we made every illegal immigrant watch this they would just give up and go home.;)

Immigration from Past to Present

Tonight...we get informed about immigration...well sort of.;)

The Immigration Debate

This puts the immmigration issue in perspective.;)

Graffiti: Japanese Immigration in Brazil - 100 years


Glenn Beck's History of Illegal Immigration

There has been a lot of talk about immigration lately. The problem is without illegal immigrants who will do the WORK? I think they forgot to think about that. The US has the loosest borders on planet earth for a REASON.;)

Evolution of Dance

This is so cool

World of Warcraft in The Simpsons

If you are looking for something really cool for your kids to do this summer...i.e. a free babysitter, ;) (And don't mind mindless imaginary violence);) you might give World of Warcraft a try. As you can see, adults like it too.;)

Paris Hilton on the Simpsons

Hmmm...she must have escaped.:O

Hacker Claims He Uncovered the Ending to the Much Anticipated Harry Potter Release, "The Deathly Hallows"

According to the New York Times, "A self-proclaimed hacker says that he broke into the computers of the British publisher of the hugely successful Harry Potter series and discovered the feverishly awaited climax to the coming seventh and final installment. But his disclosures were met with skepticism this week."

Fans and fansites have dismissed the rumor as rubbish and said that the "hacker" spoke in broken English, similar to the writing used by the hundreds everyday that tell me via e-mail that I have won various lotteries and have a huge African inheritance that they need my urgent assistance to collect.;)

So, I am dismissing this as rumor, besides the book is due out so soon I doubt it really matters. I don't want to know the ending until I read the book.;)

--The Clever Cynic,


Paris HIlton to Give First Release Interview on Larry King Live

In an article in the NY Times, apparently Paris Hilton tried to start a bidding war between the networks for the rights to her release interview. Once word got out that they were paying for the interview it got messy. Then, no one wanted to touch it that had any brains, so she is doing the interview on, "Larry King Live." Sigh, I just wish this whole Paris Hilton Jail thing would go away.

Anastasia - It Sucks to Be Me [Spoof]

Fortunately, there will be no more of these.;)

THE SIMPSONS-'Spoof' on WALT DISNEY WORLD-Animation-Cartoon!


Disney Dropping Plans to Release More DVD Only Sequels to Feature Hits

In an article on E! I learned that Disney will no longer make animated sequels to feature hits. Those hoping for a Lion King 9 or 10 on DVD will apparently be disappointed.

I had always hoped for a "Pinocchio Grows Up and hosts the Tonight Show" sequel with his sidekick Jiminy Cricket playing the part of Ed McMahon, but I guess some things are just never meant to be...sorry to be the one to break the news. I have however unearthed what may be the last of the releases for your viewing pleasure.;)

--The Clever Cynic,

Madness - House Of Fun (Live On The Young Ones)

A sneak peak into a new "transitional house" proposed by Paris Hilton.

Paris Hilton Unveils "Purpose"

According to an article on E! Paris Hilton discovered her new purpose while logging time in the jail. In their exclusive interview she revealed her new plan, ""I want to help build a transitional home so that when inmates leave here, they don't have to go back to the street," she said. "These women just keep coming back because they have no place to go."

Apparently plans are already in the works and I managed to have a hidden camera smuggled into the new project hidden inside an earring disguised as jail apparel.

Bill Clinton to Let His Wife Win Her Own Race

In an article from NY Daily News, former President Clinton declared, "I don't expect to do a lot of this this year and I don't think it's helpful," the former President said, referring to an upcoming campaign trip in Iowa in which he will accompany her. "I want people to get to know Hillary."

I am not sure that the people getting to know Hillary is the BEST strategy either.;)

But I can see Bill's translate....hey, I have been President...been there....done that. I can't say that I can argue with him, I hardly want to be a part of Hilliary Clinton's campaign either.;) Besides what man in America wants to be the first "first man?"
Bill is a cagey one...he comes off as "noble" by letting her in essence run her own race. Plus, when she loses he won't have to shoulder any blame. No wonder that marriage lasted.;) I still haven't forgotten when Bill got elected that Hillary immediately began to "rethink" the role of first lady. I got plenty of this power-hungry little vixen the first go 'round. I have to agree with Bill...he's a slick one that Bill.;)

--The Clever Cynic,

Funny cartoon =)

In honor of Elmo.;)

Breaking News PARIS Hilton RELEASED from JAIL

Nothing like the Commode Fairy to brighten one's day.

Animals on the Red Carpet


Pink's Infamous Spoof video

I guess anyone can be a superstar.;)

A Wii on a TINY 1 inch TV

WOW, they finally found a use for the Wii.

Lindsay Lohan Meets Fat Kid

And now for a commercial interruption.

Lohan Family in the News Again...Sigh

In an article on TMZ, "Lohans Get Nasty -- Caught on Tape," apparently Michael Lohan got a little wound up replying to Dina Lohan's people that he had to be restrained. Imagine that, a nasty Lohan...I must say I am surprised.

--The Clever Cynic, (or a reasonable facsimile),


Paris Hilton's Release Date Officially Set as June 26th

According to an article from ABC News, Paris Hilton's released date has been officially set for June 26th. That means that she has spent approximately 276 hours behind bars (give or take release time for a mysterious-medical condition).

This means, if you believe rumors that Paris and her mom were shopping the rights to the first post-release interview for 1.2 million, she made about $4,700 per hour in jail. Not bad pay for answering fanmail. Add in the $800,000 for the Hard Rock Cafe appearance and it goes to about $7,700 per hour. No wonder she wants to reform.;)

--The Clever Cynic,


cartoon network memories part 1

As you all have guessed, I love cartoon art ... this is awesome.

Weddings From the Guy's Perspective

Yesterday's investigation probably left the ladies purring like kittens, but the guys are probably ready to beat me like a read-headed step child.
For those stalwart guys who actually had faith and returned to give this another shot, tonight is their turn. Yes, you are right, tonight I bring to you, "weddings from the guy's perspective."
First off, you have to realign your karma, restore your zen, repair your yin and yang and recover your full masculinity by wiping away some of the dirty taint that some of yesterdays video posts probably left hanging about. So I prepared a video cure for what ails you. Just watch the following video until you feel normal and then proceed with the rest. Let me give you a hint while I am at it. If a woman ever expresses her pride that you, "are getting in touch with your feminine side," she means she has you "whipped." So watch out for that one.
I for one don't have a feminine side. I have never been in touch with my feminine side and don't even want my feminine side to text me on holidays. With that in mind, I have no doubt I will cure the blues left by the debacle created by yesterday's investigation...thanks for keeping the faith.;)

Aish Abhi Wedding Rex Cartoon by Waheed Javed

I had to watch this video FOUR times before I didn't feel dirty anymore from watching some of those mushy, sappy videos yesterday. So guys, keep watching it over and over until you feel the hair begin to grow back in on your chest...then you'll be fine.

Bridezilla - The Wedding Ring

And so begins the saga...Weddings From the Male Perspective.;)

He Wants a Three-way; She Wants a Wedding Day

;)...No comment. Smart guys know when to keep their mouth SHUT.;)

Shrek and Fiona: The Greatest Fairy Tale Never Told

This guy needs to learn the most-valuable lesson of all..."If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.;)

Pamela 4 Stephen

A guy who is SMART ENOUGH not to get involved in wedding planning.;)

Obviously another wedding planned by a guy.;)

25th Anniversary

This was just too good not to post.;) THIS IS CLASSIC.

Four Funerals and a Wedding much for growing old together.;)

Michelle and Vish wedding announcement.

Wow...he has her performing like a trained seal...this must have been SOME WEDDING.;)

Not Until You Dance

Guys, sometimes it isn't the smartest idea to have your best friend be the best man.;)

Janitor X - The Wedding

This is why they don't let the GUY plan the wedding.;)

marriage joke

Now that you are back in sync, this describes the yin-yang balance between the sexes.;) All things in balance.

Tonight I Conducted an Investigation Into Turned UGLY

Tonight an article on Yahoo News caught my eye. The title is, "GREEDY COUPLE CASHES IN AFTER THEIR WEDDING SHOWER." In the article, they discuss a letter to "Dear Abby" describing one couple's disgraceful attempt to turn their wedding into a personal fund-raising event.

I was shocked by this article...well not really shocked, I have been pretty much impossible to shock post-kindergarten, but I did think it would make a good blogfest.;)

So I donned my protective clothing and hip boots and headed out to dredge up the truth about weddings and why couples celebrating holy matrimony become literally brain-dead and perform seemingly-insane acts as they prepare to finally have sex sanctioned by the legal and moral codes of their respective cultures, instead of having to sneak around anymore behind thier parents backs.;)

What I found was so disturbing, so unsettling that I must warn you before you proceed. This turned even uglier than my investigation into women singing about their ovaries. You have been WARNED...proceed at your own risk.

--The Clever Cynic,

Setos Wedding

Now THIS is a wedding.;)

OUR WEDDING part #9: Me and my girlfriend

The fact that there are at LEAST 8 other parts to this, quite frankly, SCARES ME.

Cartoon Wedding Item Presentation

From her expression, I think this one even made the bride sick.;)

Wedding Presentation in Cartoon Animation

Yes, this corruption has even surfaced in Singapore.

Wedding Cartoon Animation (Romantic story)

Hmm...this is GREAT, if you can stand "sappy."

Sleeping Beauty - Lunacy Fringe

WOW, this is AMAZING. DANG, this is actually an AWESOME video. Amazing what you stumble across when you are hunting sappy-marriage footage.

joy wedding cartoon

Hahahaha...I can see why thisis by Cheeze productions, it is SO CHEESY. Someone, MAKE IT STOP.

Wedding Cartoon Animation -

I need one of those bags you find for free on the back of the seat in front of you on airplanes.

My cousin's wedding animation project

WOW I think these two need to GET A ROOM.:O

wedding anime

HA...this is actually really-well done.;) But ladies, seriously, see why mean are afraid of commitment? THIS is why.:)

Bomb and Mee Wedding Presentation

What is there about weddings that make womens'brains die? Tonight I am investigating. This isn't in English but it is still so cheesy it is funny in any language. Hmm this seems to be an international phenomenon...matters are even worse even than I suspected...sigh.

The Clintons Release a Spoof Video

When you say "The Clintons" like that it sounds like "The Clampetts,"...sigh. Well, The Clintons released an on-line video Tuesday...seems everyone is spoofing these days.;) (view full article here) I guess the Clintons have heard how cool blogging is these days and want to get into the act.;).......SIGH.

According to the Washington Post, The Clintons (hehe) also chose Celine Dion's "You and I" as their theme song. Looks like they are pulling out all the stops in a full-blown multi-media event.;)

I am going to let you guess which of these videos they released.;)

--The Clever Cynic,

Bill and Hillary Chappaqua Follies

Another episode of The Clampetts.

Vote Different- 1984

And more video for the campaign.

Hillary Clinton spoof

But is it really a SPOOF? :O

Bill Clinton Cow Tippin'

And now for the Clampett Verson.;)

You and I - Celine Dion (A New Day...)

The Clintons choose Celine Dion and "You and I" as their musical poster child.;)

Congressman Ron Paul Visits My Dorm Room

I guess the Clintons figure they better get busy with the cool factor if they want to beat Ron Paul.;)

Hillary Clinton Sopranos Parody

SIGH...The Cinton's attempt at blogging....SIGH, SIGH, SIGH.:( This is the Clinton's being "KEWL."

Stick Figures On Crack

Tonight we examine why not to do drugs.;)

Bianca Ryan Hits Again

And what do Bianca Ryan and Paul Potts have in common?

Britain's Got Talent - Paul Potts - Nessun Dorma - WOW!

If you have never heard of Paul Potts, believe me someday you will. If you are following America's Got Talent, here is what talent looks like in the UK.;)

The Highlander Movie 5 Out Now on DVD: Best of the Internet

I vow to bring you the Best of the Internet and tonight is no exception. The Highlander Anime, "Highlander; The Search for Vengeance," is out now in DVD...(see official trailer site here) This site just features the trailer but it is SO SLICK LOOKING that I am giving it a Best of the Internet for all the amazing eye-candy.

There can be only one...

The Clever Cynic,

Highlander Trailer Featuring FAT SAM (Queen Bee Case Of 40s)

This is another video for the new anime movie. I can't WAIT to see this.


This was the music video for the second movie.

Highlander Music Video

EPIC cinematography plus Queen, what more could you ask?

Bonny Portmore

This is just amazing the voice is so pure. If you have never been to Scotland it feels JUST LIKE THIS. Scotland is simply amazing...go sometime.

Highlander Movie Trailer

This was the trailer for the original movie. It is a CLASSIC.

Highlander parodie by Robot chicken

This is HILARIOUS. Amazing Sean Connery voice imitation.

Who Wants To Live Forever (Highlander Scenes)

One of the shows they OUGHT to rerun is Highlander. That was the most-awesome series of all time. In fact, they ought to bring it back and make new ones.

Ron Paul : Stop Dreaming

It is about time that we got rid of the IRS. The tax code in this country is A JOKE. The massive ammount of meaningless paperwork that is forced upon taxpayers and businesses is ridiculous. This guy is a GENIUS. FINALLY, AN AMERICAN POLITICIAN WITH BRAINS. This video is awesome and WELL WORTH the view. Great tune too. American Pie is the best song of all time. He obviously reads this blog.;) Most of this sounds VERY familiar.;) He can also put together a kick-ass video.

NBC's Age of Love Reality Show About Younger Women Versus Older Women Premieres Tonight

NBC's new reality show premieres tonight at 9ET/PT. (see article here) It features tennis star Mark Philippoussis being pursued by two distinct groups of women...some in their 20's and the rest are 30 and up. According to the article, the women are stunning and there should be some real catfights if I don't' miss my guess, so it might be worth a look.

--The Clever Cynic,

Actress Julia Roberts Gives Birth to Baby Boy

Actress Julia Roberts just gave birth to a baby boy. Congrats, Julia. (see full article here)

So, why is this worth blogging? Well, for one thing she is a celebrity and she named the last two: Phinnaeus and Hazel (rolls eyes), so it ought to be a real freak show when she announces the name...of course, I'll keep you posted.;)

--The Clever Cynic,


Bob Barker Retires...after 35 LONG years...sigh

Bob Barker retired recently at 82, (see article here). At least he finally RETIRED...sigh. There are a ton of new communications graduates out there who would love to have a chance to have a job. Sometimes it irks me a bit when someone just does not know when it is time to give someone else a shot.

So who does he suggest to replace him after his LONG, LONG stint? Rosie O'Donnell. Oh this is classic. He wants to clog up the job for another eternity now that he doesn't need it anymore...very thoughtful. Whatever happened to the "free market?" I couldn't believe it either. (see article here) The last thing on earth that I ever want to experience is Rosie saying that the price is right.;)

So I got to thinking...what else has hung around TOO LONG on the old TV set? So for your viewing pleasure I compiled a list.:) <---- (Oh this is RARE I actually smiled...I must be getting ready to torture you.) --The Clever Cynic,

beverly hillbillies

Someone make it to RETIREMENT for the Beverly Hillbillies.

laurel and hardy hardy looks at the camera

All I can say is thank GOD Laurel and Hardy were both male and could not reproduce. Off to RETIREMENT YOU GO.

The Three Stooges Slap Attack

Sigh another candidate for PERMANENT RETIREMENT is The Three Stooges. I choose the shortest-possible clip a a mercy gesture to my readers. Today they call this "assault."

Jerry Lewis Typewriter

I am sure Jerry Lewis is the nicest guy on earth. Every year he has devoted a lot of time to charity and raising money to fight muscular dystropy. The telethon can stay, the old comedy bits can, however, be RETIRED.

Howdy Doody - Cowabonga

Yup, it is true, I am actually going to make you watch Howdy Doody. But on the bright side it will probably be the only time you will see old Howdy on this blog. There is something I find a bit offputting about a puppet that looks like a caricature of a drunken chimp. As if that isn't bad enough, if you went around these days singing, "cowabonga," declaring it as your themesong, and pronouncing it like "cowabunga" people would think you were making a REALLY BAD remake of Brokeback Mountain only about a cowboy and his cow. This blog is all about good taste, so Howdy Doody has to GO. Howdy, you are officially RETIRED.

Stairway to Gilligan's Island

Another one we need to send to heaven is Gilligan's Island. As you have probably guessed I love the beach and would enjoy living on any island on earth, but I would never set foot on Gilligan's Island. (Although, Ginger WAS pretty hot.);) Thankfully this clip has some Led Zepplin so it is halfway tolerable.

Lucy, Lucy, Lucy

Ok, Ok, if I have seen this video clip once, I have seen it 10,000 times while channel surfing or on some special featuring "classic comedy" bits. I say we send this factory work overseas to be performed by underpaid workers earning substandard wages like we have everything esle and leave it there.

Clip from Public Domain episode of

Another show I could go the rest of my life without ever seeing again. I know, I know it was a more wholesome time in the history of our country. This was back when apple pie tasted like apple pie and the icecream on top didn't cause permanent damage to your DNA, but this one just has to be RETIRED. And now, oh goodie, it is public we can use it anytime we want. Hold on a minute while I stifle my enthusiasm.

Gomer Pyle USMC

One show that I hope to NEVER AGAIN run into again in reruns or anywhere else.

Cool Picture Link for Those of You Following the Story About the Unearthed 1957 Plymouth Belvedere

One of the readers sent me a cool link to awesome hi-res photos of the unearthed 1957 Plymouth. As "anonymous" said, it looks like "a real fixer-upper." I have to agree, but I am willing to bet someone will try.;) Thanks, Anon for the link goodness.

Auto Draw: How to draw Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)

And in case you want to make your own Simpsons spoof video...

The simpsons lost animation

They found this old Simpson's footage in that old Plymouth they recently unearthed. Back then, it was just in the planning stage.

The O.J. Simpsons: IF I DID IT!

I will tell you later if I posted this.;)

O.J. Simpson -

Oh yeah, I would want to win the rights to this.

The Goldman Family Wins Rights to OJ Simpson's Cancelled Book

The Goldman family won the rights to OJ Simpson's cancelled book, "If I Did It." (see article here) Now that was SOME award. The family got a book that will never be puhlished...woot. They plan to rename it, "Confessions Of A Double Murderer." I guess that way they get SOME satisfaction out of the whole affair.

This goes to show you. The absolute best way to avoid being sued is to not own anything. As my grandmother always said, "you can't get blood out of a turnip.";)

--The Clever Cynic,


Young Frankenstein

The Parable.;)

Do Not Open (part 2)

And the saga continues...

Do Not Open (part 1)

About things left unopened.;)

Paris Hilton is Back in Her Cell Again

Paris Hilton had been cooling her heels in the med center, but her "medical condition" has been stabilized and she is back in the slammer. Something tells me we haven't heard the last of Paris goes to jail though.;)

Channel Image- DO NOT WATCH!

This is an interesting video...Why? Because it has 20,000 views, yet it clearly tells everyone "NOT TO WATCH."
Inside each and every person is a little voice that when we see something that tells us not to do something, we want to shake our little fist in defiance and do it ANYWAY. I speculate that that is why this video has almost 20,000 views, not a bad score as YouTube video goes.

My Christine, 1958 Plymouth Belvedere

This is a 1958, but oh well it is close. I think this is what they thought it would look like.;)

Buried Belvedere Lid Removal 2

And here they unearth that sucker...woot.

Tulsa County Buried 1957 Plymouth Belvedere

Ha found it on video...check it out. Wow, this website is so high tech. HA I was RIGHT they stuffed the trunk with stuff. Talk about too much junk in your trunk. I deserve the beer from the trunk.;) LOL they think this sucker will be PRISTINE..."they took every precaution." haha

Classic Car Unearthed in a Nuke Proof Time Capsule

In an article on Yahoo! News, via the AP, it was announced that in "Tulsa, Okla. - A concrete vault encasing a 1957 Plymouth Belvedere buried a half-century ago may have been built to withstand a nuclear attack but it couldn't beat back the natural onslaught of moisture. At a Friday ceremony complete with a couple of drum rolls, crews removed a multilayered protective wrapping caked with red mud, revealing a vintage vehicle that was covered in rust and wouldn't crank. "

Oh this truly IS classic. Suppose that there HAD been a nuclear disaster that all life had been erradicated and billions and billions of years from now, some wandering aliens discover the remains of our Styrofoam factory in space and work their way here to our planet. At least domestic cars would be presented TRUTHFULLY...thank god...what a hoot. Don't you bet the crew laughed when they burried that puppy. Bet when they get the trunk open they find some wild stuff the worker hid in there as a prank...hehehehe. The Belvedere was the coolest car of all time...what a great choice.

LOL it gets even better when they discuss the car...."There were a few bright spots, literally: shiny chrome was still visible around the doors and front fender, and workers were able to put air in the tires." Hmm...some tire manufacturer is going to get some UBER advertising out of this...if they are still in business.

--The Clever Cynic,

Robot Chicken - Noahs Ark

Hmmm...strangely similar to our space program.;) I am going to build my own ark...the Space Station...hehe.

The International Space Station Has Been Getting a Lot of Attention

You will be happy to know that scientists are still working diligently in space to try to extend life beyond our own planet. (see full article here) The space station has been expanded and they are having a good time up there apparently. They are working at an accelerated pace because we have spent so much on the space program over the years that we have let planet earth just go to the dogs. Hopefully, they discover a clean-new planet soon because time is running out.

Since 1961 over 400 people from all over the world have ventured into space, so you can see how efficient it it will be for the billions of residents of planet earth to venture forth to our clean-new planet.

So far, the effort to find a way to extend life beyond our own planet has been fruitless, so has the quest to find a way that the space program has benefited Americans beyond the invention of Styrofoam...but they are still working on it.;) It seems to me they are essentially building a very-expensive ark.

--The Clever Cynic,


Knut the Polar Bear Cub Raking in Millions at Berlin Zoo

The Berlin Zoo is taking in a fortune as visitors line up to see the first polar bear born at the zoo in 33 years. (full article here) The bear, named "Cute Knut" (of all things, rolls eyes) apparently someone thought it cute when it's father was able to get excited enough in front of all those visitors to actually make "Cute Knut."
Hopefully, Cute Knut is not affected by all the press and attention and does not turn out to be overly-theatrical like the bear in this clipart...sigh.

Asia Brief - Rome Reborn Virtual Model

A huge 3-D model of ancient Rome has been developed that will allow you to experience Rome in the days of its glory. Tourists visiting Rome can go on a virtual tour that depicts Rome as it evolved through the when in Rome you can do like the Romans did.;)

robot chicken Super-Villain Carpool

Superhero villians are getting a lot of attention this summer with the release of "Spider-Man 3" and "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer," So, they are out doing a lot of interviews. They tend not to me paid as much as the good guys, so high-gas prices are forcing many of them to carpool.

Captain Crunch on Family Guy

The Captain fights back about all the negative press. I guess you better not mess with the Cap'n.

LOST to Plan Out the Last 48 Episodes

In an article on E!, the producers of LOST apparently announced plans to actually plan out the plot in advance. Up until now, they must have been winging it as they went along.;) I enjoy the series a lot; therefore, I am glad to learn that there is actually a PLAN and apparently they will now formulate a grand plan. I was actually beginning to wonder after I read that Ben was originally in for a short appearance, but the producers took a liking to the character and decided to work him into a greater role.;)

In fact, I am going through a bit of LOST withdrawal, so I devised a plan. Starting a while back, I started sneaking secret URLs into this site. I know, I know, I am a sneaky bastard. Basically the way it works is this. From time to time over the next six months, I will slip clues into this blog on the order of LOST, except I am not actually winging it. In fact, I have been doing so for a while now. It is no coincidence that a yo-yo happens to crop up twice in some of the graphics. The clues are sublime and understanding the extremely-murky depths of this blog, that already seems demented enough at face value, is probably not a feature everyone will want to partake of for the additional wisdom it will reveal, or the mental-health risks involved. But, for those who enjoy that sort of thing, knock yourself out. In the end I will reveal some truth so staggering that it will permanently alter your view of the universe...or make you so sick that you actually chose to participate that you leave, never to return...who knows? Like I said, if you like a mystery, take the clues for a spin.

Paris Hilton to Host Bash at the Hard Rock Cafe to Celebrate Her Release

I had to up the number of posts on the main page to 10 because I had a bunch of stuff I wanted to run my mouth about tonight.

Tonight on Extra! <---(you may want to check this out...I was hunting the link and it shows a pre-rehab Britney....yuck...) (adds Britney to the list of people who can not have my love child...this is getting to be quite a list...hmm, I had better start an actual list in a post sometime.) Ok, back to the story.

Tonight on Extra I leaned that Paris Hilton is to host a huge bash at the Hard Rock Cafe and Casino in Las Vegas to celebrate her release. (you gotta admit you really can learn stuff here first ;) ) Apparently, she forgot about God once she was offered $800,000 to host this huge drinking and gambling fest...imagine that. I guess a "good role model" hosts drinking events at casinos in the sin capital of the world.

Actually, the Hard Rock Cafe and Casino is a HAPPENING place with awesome food and great music, so if you are ever in Vegas and want a place to hang I highly recommend it...but no one would EVER mistake me for being a good role model so I can recommend without being a total hypocrite.;) In fact, the party in question is probably an awesome party.;)....but that isn't the point.

--The Clever Cynic,

Captain Crunch is Back!

This video is excellent and the cat doesn't look fat either.;)

Cap'n Crunch and Jean LaFoote - Circus

Here the Captain saves a MULTICURLTURAL GROUP with his amazing cereal. One youth is even wearing GLASSES. :O

Captain Crunch Snow Cones

And here a child prepares a nutritious snack with Captain features LOW FAT MILK...oooooooh...nice.:)

SolidGoldHits - Locking by Captain Crunch and the FunkyBunch

A tribute to The Captain...hmmm...funny thing is, these guys don't look fat.

Cap'n Crunch early 70's cereal commercials

It stays CRUNCHY...even in milk.;)

Junk food ads

To thier credit they do show the "apple" as a real couch potato.;)

Captain Crunch's Ship Under Fire

In an article on CSPI Newsroom, apparently Viacom and Kelloggs, including I assume Captain Crunch, are under fire by parents for the nutritious message they send our tubby-young Americans. In other words, someone is suing Captain Crunch.:(

Apparently, alarmed that a lot of our nation's kids are on the chubby side, parents are looking to blame someone besides the one who actually DOES THE SHOPPING.;) (of course)

What does this mean for America? One of our cultural icons, Captain Crunch is being sued. Yes it is true. The Captain, stalwart of countless years of Saturday morning cartoons is under fire because a lot of our kids can't get off the couch to do more than go to the bathroom and parents need someone to blame.;) I assume that The Captain stuffs all those non-nutritious goodies in mom or dad's shopping cart at the store and keeps the parents from buying fruit and vegetables...the scoundrel.;) Americans have used the TV set as a babysitter for generations and now they apparently expect the poor Captain to be the parent as well...sigh.

--The Clever Cynic,

Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time

This Video is kind of cool.

The Best Fantasy Book Series of All Time: The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan

The best fantasy book series I have ever read is The Wheel of Time Series by Robert Jordan. I bought a paperback on a whim a few years ago and it sat on my bookshelf for about a year because the first few pages of the prelude kind of put me off the book for a while.

It starts off with a flashback that seemed a bit overdone and without having read the series seemed meaningless and a bit bizarre, so I put it aside for one of those days when I needed to grab something to read in a hurry.

I broke my ribs about a year later and didn't have anything to read and so I picked it up again. I skipped the prelude and started the story. I couldn't put the book down and I continued reading until I finished the ten or so books that existed in the series at the time. There are still books being released from time to time and the series totals more than 12,000 pages and still growing. To learn more you can click here for the Wikipedia is truly an amazing read. So if you are looking for something to do this summer (but I have to warn you the series is addicting) this is well worth checking out. It has been around a while so you can pick it up cheap from

--The Clever Cynic,

Ozzfest and America's Got Talent...What Do They Have in Common?

Ozzfest is going to be a free concert this year. Over 400,000 tickets were given away for this gala of Heavy Metal organized by Ozzy Osbourne, his wife Sharon and son Jack...probably with the help of some roadies. (someone has to do the real work.);) For the official site, click here. It ought to totally rock and with all those free tickets floating around it ought to be pretty easy to obtain some.

What does Ozzfest have to do with America's Got Talent? Sharon Osbourne, Ozzy's wife, is one of the judges on the show. She has a ton of style, a super-sexy accent, and lends some class to the show.

Both should be entertaining.

--The Clever Cynic,

Brangelina...Do They Make Countries Cringe?

I have to wonder if when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie apply to another country to adopt yet another baby for their small world exhibit if the country cringes.

On the one hand, they are adopting an orphan...a very noble thing to do. On the other hand, our own country is teeming with unadopted children that reach adulthood without ever finding a family to adopt them. It is as if Brangelina is saying in a way that the child's country is failing them and they, with their noble motives, will whisk the child away to a fairytale-like existence somewhere decent. I find it a bit unsettling when a child is denied their cultural heritage and a bit condescending to the child's country of origin.

The children will undoubtedly be well-provided for as the adopted children of wealthy celebrities, but I can't shake the feeling that there is an underlying publicity motive to their world escapade to "save" children one child at a time. It seems that every time the publicity swirl surrounding America's-cutest couple dies down there is another adoption.

--The Clever Cynic,

Brangelina to Adopt AGAIN...sigh

According to an article on Fox News, (click the kid to see the article) Brangelina plan to adopt another child. They are not sure where the child will come from but with the word "adopt" in there, I am assuming it won't be coming from them.
The couple who plan to have ten children in all and I for one do not want to be stuck in the same gondola as that pair if the "It's a Small World" <---(you can ride it on-line too) ride breaks down and the lights go out at Walt Disney World Resort. I have a feeling the world would feel really small then.;)

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