Miss Teen USA and Geography - An Investigation

Tonight, we embark upon another of my now famous investigations. I know, I know, many of you are already cringing and closing your browsers but I feel that I must go on with the show.

Recently, two things occured that were so lame that it merits a FULL investigation, INCLUDING visuals.

The first lameness was Miss Teen South Carolina's stunning answer to one of those canned questions they ask at beauty pagents to prove that the event isn't all about girls capering around in bikinis. In the interview portion of that mind-numbing event, they asked this witty-young beauty about Americans and Geography. For those of you with a strong stomach, you can read the full-transcript here.

The question was, "One-fifth of Americans can not locate the US on a world map, why do you think this is?" Well, first of all, I wouldn't end a sentence with, "is,";) (Another prime example of just how badly our schools are failing) but that aside, let's continue. Miss Teen South Carolina proceeded to show just how effective our schools actually have become by muddling her way through the question in a series of vagaries and platitudes that would make the YouTube Debate pale by comparison.

The second lameness is the fact that our schools are so pitiful that 1/5 of Americans can not locate the US on a world map. I would venture to say that even fewer Americans can actually express one-fifth as a fraction. (I will investigate our schools another time...I think Miss Teen USA provides enough lameness for one sitting.) I vowed that by the time I was done, every-last-one of my readers would be able to locate that puppy on the world map, BLINDFOLDED.;) They will probably leave this site never to return after tonight's spectacle, but they WILL be able to locate the US on the world map.

Later, in tonight's stunning entertainment, I am actually going to make you watch Miss Teen South Carolina stumble though that question and answer session, so you might start mentally preparing yourself for some mind-boggling stupidity.

I have posted a LOT today, so you will probably want to go to the archive to view the posts that have been pushed from the main page...or not. Afterall, Miss Teen South Carolina's Dazzling Interview is lurking around here somewhere.;)

--The Clever Cynic

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